“This photo is the updated version of Nixon’s ‘smoking gun’ story,” Angel Suarez says, standing at the front of Helen Riley’s fifth-grade “Current Events” class. Behind her on the screen pulled down over the whiteboard, is the projected image of a slide she made of “Smokin’ Donald Trump.” It’s her assignment for “A Summary of this Week’s Current Events.”
“Who’s Nixman?” Billy Cosgrove asks from the back of class. Billy’s wearing the “Amalgamated Dog Meat Workers of the World” t-shirt he got six weeks ago from his older brother, “Wilco,” before Wilco left Wisconsin for the BeachBabeLands of Florida.
“Richard Milhous Nixon,” Angel answers, “37th President of the United States, forced from office in 1973 by the threat of impeachment. What came to be known as the ‘smoking gun’ of the investigation into Nixon’s involvement in Watergate, was a tape-recorded conversation he’d made in the oval office with his chief of staff, as they talked about how to best obstruct the investigation of their possible involvement in obstructing the investigation of the burglary at the Democratic National Committee headquarters, in the Watergate office complex in Washington.”
“So with Nixman, then, the smoking gun was a tape recording?” Billy asks.
“And with Trump, the smoking gun was his mouth?”
“Right,” Angel answers. “The man had shot his mouth off for years. But, being an extremely wealthy man of no real consequence, each time he shot his mouth off, what he hit was also stuff of no real consequence. Until, of course, he was sworn in as the president, where he was slow to realize how much a life of little consequence he’d actually lived.”
“So what he said as president …”
“Quickly showed how empty his self-importance really was, as what he said became like bumper-sticker proclamations of his unfitness for the job.”
2017-05-21 14:13:46 (323 words)
▸ Daughter performing “No Care”, from “Not to Disappear” 2016
▸ The Guggenheim Grotto performing “Told You So” live, from “Waltzing Alone” 2005
▸ Mumford & Sons performing “The Wolf” in studio, from “Wilder Mind” 2015
▸ My Brightest Diamond performing “Inside a Boy”, from “A Thousand Shark’s Teeth” 2008